Every so often, I have an intense want for something that makes no sense whatsoever to purchase. Like baby shoes. Or, for example, I want a dog, and I look at those “Free Dog!” postings on the Free section of Craigslist, even though I have no place for a dog right now. That dastardly yet wonderful Free section of Craigslist also made me briefly consider picking up a free sailboat and taking up sailing, though luckily I came to my senses about my total lack of nautical knowledge before I went and towed it away or anything.
My most recent nonsensical product desire was brought about by this Slate article about the wonders of vintage stoves. Before I knew it, I was browsing Antique Stove Heaven, and had picked out the stove for me (if you’re curious, it’s the O'Keefe and Merritt Town & Country stove pictured above--six burners, two ovens, three broilers, one warmer, a removable griddle and a utility shelf!!!). Obviously, this is all quite fruitless, since I probably won’t be in a position to redo my kitchen and make it retro for at least a decade.
But besides my occasional yearnings for things that I cannot reasonably purchase, my desire for a vintage stove also stems from my fondness for old, utilitarian things. I think that in modernization we have lost a lot of the functionality that old stuff used to have, or discarded useful things entirely in favor of something newer. Those in-house intercoms from 1980s houses, for example—um, awesome! And totally useful. I know we have cell phones now and everything, but somehow it doesn’t seem as lazy to use an intercom to call your mom from the opposite side of the house to say, hey come to the computer room, I need your help with something, since the house comes equipped with it and everything. My friend Julianne had one in her house, and I completely loved it. I asked my mom once why we didn’t have one, and she said something like “Oh, those are dated.” Which was probably true, but why did such an innovation ever fall out of style? I don’t get it.
A few years ago, we got a new dishwasher because our trusty old one broke down. This new one is fancy-looking—stainless steel and all that—but it consistently leaves the dishes dirty and takes way longer to wash things. I constantly miss that old, ugly one. Same thing with our new coffeemaker. I guess its better quality, but there are about 13 steps to go through for a simple cup of coffee.
So I want a vintage stove. One made right after World War II, cause dammit, that’s when Americans knew how to make things right.
i like to look at kitten adoption websites and think about buying a kitten and constantly hint to dylan about the kittens i want from the website even tho since i'm poor adding money for cat supplies and a kennel when i go home seems dumb.
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