Monday, August 30, 2010

Home

This is a curtain in our new home. I sewed buttons onto that curtain, and I hemmed it, and though it does not look like much, I am quite proud of it.

I like the new place very much. This will surprise you after hearing two things:

1) We have no dishwasher.
2) We don't have cable.

I know. I know.

The first thing is so far, not so bad. Check back in 3 months or so. But so far, it is not so bad to scrub my cereal bowl once I am done eating my cereal.

The second thing, is actually a positive change. I know. We decided not to get cable because most of the shows I watch I can get online and the other ones (Mad Men) I can buy on iTunes. It was not a decision I made easily, but staring at $40 a month just made me decide that it was time to act like an adult and make a sane financial decision. I thought it would be quite a sacrifice, but just a necessary one. But I actually like that an entertainment option has been taken away from me. It makes me more creative with my time. For example, I would probably not have gotten around to this blog post if we had cable. I would have flipped it on and found that, say, Friends was on. (oh...should not have written that...now I feel like watching a Friends rerun. Have the DVDs but no player yet--working on it). And there would go my hour/half-hour.

I find that I have these 30-60 second moments when I come home and don't know what to do really. In those 30-60 seconds I would normally turn on the TV. But now I can't. So I have to think of something else.

(I do know that all of this is like basic life 101 to most people, but TV and me have been like *this* for as long as I can remember, so it's no small potatoes.)

Other things I like about our house:
- its ours
- the floors are hardwood
- there are built-in shelves, desks, and a lazy susan (was unreasonably excited to discover the lazy susan)
- from our window I can see a garden that a neighbor is growing
- we have a plant (seen in the picture above)
- we can walk to almost anything--coffee shop, grocery store, best buy, target, Bloomingfoods, ice cream store.

And now, off to said grocery store.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Nostalgia

I have lately been feeling nostalgic for younger me. In very small ways, but it keeps happening. The other day in the shower something smelled like old Bath and Body Works and transported me back to days gone by. And then a Moulin Rouge song came onto my Pandora station, and I remembered living and dying by that movie. I loved that movie. I went for a run and thought about when I used to run around the block and see if I could do the whole thing just by listening to Lady Marmalade and a Pink song.

It's not like I don't have favorite fragrances anymore or movies I love, but these small things keep popping up and taking me back and like, its almost as if this old me is someone that I miss. I liked her and its sad that I never get to see her anymore. I am still me, and I don't feel like a huge shift has occurred, but I just don't listen to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack on repeat with my Ipod mini during family road trips anymore.

I wonder if this thinking is because I feel on the verge of true adulthood and am mourning my evermore distant adolescence. Maybe.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Epiphany

I thought I already "got it" that my wedding didn't have to be perfect. I am not a perfectionist. I knew I didn't care if my bridesmaids shoes were all the same or if the cake were to show up on the wedding day being the wrong flavor.

But.

That doesn't mean I had let go of the idea of a perfect day. My idea of perfect is a little different than the standard wedding perfect, but I had one nevertheless. I had beautiful weather, all of my family and every single last friend being there, simple dress, tasty food, fabulous pictures, and the just-right venue of beautiful scenery and laid back charm. This idea of perfect is better, in some ways, than the "the chicken MUST be served AT 7:15 pm!" perfect, because it is more my style. But it is still unattainable. It is still an ideal.

This epiphany has made me so much more relaxed. Because I thought I already was relaxed, and yet somehow I remained stressed out trying to figure out how to make it all happen. So I thought there was no more give. But there is. It won't be perfect. It won't even be my version of perfect.

But it will still be great.

*weight off shoulders*