Saturday, January 15, 2011

Adrift

So here I am. In my apartment where I live by myself, now that Eric has moved to Texas. When I first found out he got the job, I was beyond thrilled, with a reasonable amount of sadness mixed in that he would leave here 4 months before me. Now, with him officially moved, I am having trouble accessing that thrilled feeling I felt a few weeks ago. I know, in my brain, that moving to the Austin is our dream and we are making that happen, which is amazing and a cause for celebration. But my insides just feel sad and crumpled. It doesn't help that the last week of school/work has been a perfect storm of work and responsibility and stress and sleep deprivation.

I feel strange about how totally discombobulated I feel in his absence. Like everything got tipped upside down and now I have to navigate this life that looks just like the one I had last semester but that feels completely unfamiliar.

I did not expect this. I need to get it together.

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