Monday, May 2, 2011

A Tragic Chocolate Journey

Last week, I went to the grocery store intent on getting some discounted Easter candy. I was a little late, it was like the Thursday afterward or something, but I thought there would still be plenty of leftovers for me to choose from. 

Wrong.

What I had to choose from? Sketchy jelly beans and off-brand chocolate eggs. Not what I wanted, even at 50% off. What I wanted, what my heart was apparently set on (I would come to find out), were Robins Eggs. I FLOVE Robins Eggs, and they only have them at Easter. If you don't know, they are like jumbo-sized Whoppers. A lot of people hate Whoppers, but I love them, and I assumed the same would be true of the Eggs of Deliciousness and that I could happily pick them up at the store many days after the holiday. Stupid.

After this sad discovery, I wandered around the grocery story in search of a suitable replacement. I stood listlessly in the candy aisle for awhile. Nothing spoke to me. I went to the ice cream section, and discovered that ice cream is MEGA expensive these days! Wha? I haven't bought ice cream in a while but I remember it being like 2-3 bucks? I went about my business buying practical things like milk when I came upon Snack Packs, on sale for a dollar. This'll do, I thought. Torn between butterscotch and tapioca, I went with tapioca as butterscotch was a new flavor to me in pudding applications and seemed like a risky undertaking. 

I got home and I was putting away my tapioca pudding and it struck me: I went for Robins Eggs and I wound up with TAPIOCA PUDDING? I had fallen down on the job. I was gravely disappointed in myself, and also confused as to how I let this happen. 

For several days after this incident, my craving for le eggs did not dissipate, and each time I had to console myself with a sad plastic cup of pudding. For days I endured this, until tonight when I resolved to return the the grocery store and try again. 

Knowing not to even bother with the ice-cream-made-of-gold freezer, I went straight to the candy aisle. I grabbed Whoppers (duh), and I also saw that they had a new size of Sour Patch Kids for only 99 cents so I grabbed that too. I am clearly very susceptible to candy that costs a dollar. And then, there on a humble shelf near the floor, I discovered a bag of chocolate to exceed even my Robins Eggs expectations: Hershey's Extra Creamy Milk Chocolate with Toffee and Almonds Nuggets!! These things usually come in packs with other useless Nuggets like Dark Chocolate with Almond, ugh, but here they were, available for purchase all by themselves. Clearly I could not pass up this opportunity, look what happened last time I delayed candy-buying. So I got those too.

Having denied myself chocolate for days and suddenly in possession of it, I proceeded to eat obscene amounts and am about to enter a sugar coma.

Moral of the story: Listen to your heart. If your heart wants chocolate, DO NOT BUY TAPIOCA PUDDING. 

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