Saturday, September 11, 2010

Why

Why do we continue to do things that make us unhappy? I know, at this point in my life, the things that make me happy and the things that make me unhappy. In the first category are cooking, crossing things off my to-do list, dancing, yoga, seeing friends, talking to friends, and listening to music. In the later are many things that I did today--procrastinating, sleeping too late/too long, forgetting to call people, not writing letters that I was supposed to.

I think the thing is, the happiness things require action. And instead of acting, I sit and I sleep or I do the immediately necessary thing.

What I need is commitment and accountability. Yesterday I went to this dance show where my friends were performing and it was a great time and I left there buoyed by seeing people that I like and by seeing some dance. Why did I go? Honestly, I think it was because the day before in class I had told people that I would go. In the moment of final decision-making, this commitment was what kept me from saying "Oh, I dunno if I really want to go."

I am trying to figure out how to expand this notion to other parts of my life. Or how I can get myself to actually feel accountable to myself, the future me or the me-that-knows-better. If I could do this, I think 95% of my problems would be solved. I would always exercise, because future-me would definitely favor that. I would get up early and eat breakfast at a leisurely pace.

If anyone knows how to do that, advice would be much appreciated.

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